Monday, March 26, 2007

24 Hours Later, A Change in Perspective

Funny how much 24 hours can change your perspective. Reading back at my last blog entry...I don't know what I was thinking ....contemplating an Ironman. Today, I am feeling a cross between guilty, because I missed the swim last night (had company in town) and burned-out and discouraged because all this hard work doesn't seem to be paying off.
On Saturday, my timed mile was 23 seconds slower than my PR -- 10:43. And my timed 1/2 mile repeats were erratic. I think it went something like this: (Keep in mind my goal was 5:10).
1 5:15 (downhill)
2 5:25
3 5:10 (downhill)
4 5:43 (Arrrh!)
5 5:10 (downhill)
6 5:23 (really pushing it to make goal time...with no luck).
Not only am I thinking about how all of this work isn't paying off as soon as I want it to, but I'm also thinking , "how long can I keep this up?" And, I am wondering if I am really going to run the 7 miles home from the 10K to my house (like my schedule suggests) or am I going to end up being lazy and hitching a ride? When I signed up for Eagleman, it was never my intention to actually RUN the run. I planned to walk most of it. But now, I figure I'm here, I might as well do the work and run if I can.
I know I can make it through training for Eagleman. But why do I keep feeling like taking a break from training? Why does sleeping in one morning or actually sitting down with my family to have dinner on a Monday or Wednesday sound so appealing?
What are the chances that I'm going to want to do another half iron event, the Patriot's Half?, in the fall? Well, the voice in my head is sounding a little I know it is time to sign out before I do too much damage, giving these doubts too much credit.
Sometimes, just when you start to get discouraged is when you start to see results. I'm hoping that where I am. And who knows, in 24 hours I might feel differently again.


Diane said...

You have been pushing yourself SO HARD - it is natural to feel burned out. And as another fun TriGirl blog mentioned lately, taking a break and cutting yourself a little slack every now and then is okay. Really!

I bet you see improvement soon... it is always that way - tons of work, get frustrated, finally finally finally see some reward.

(I've really got nothing but hoping am to cheer you even a bit!)

TriGirl 40 said...

It is hard sometimes to remember how far you've come - especially when there are folks out there taking minutes off their miles. I am right there with you in the more moderate gains section. Two steps forward, one step back, but we eventually get there, too. Just so you know - I thought you looked great out there on Saturday. Whenever I saw you running, you looked like you were keeping a strong pace - and you looked comfortable and smooth.

If taking a "mental health" day off from working out was a bad thing, we'd all be up a creek!

Cyndi said...

This is the time when you need to tap into those mental muscles! It is natural to be discouraged. It is normal to want to quit. But it is "TriGirl" to persevere!!! You can do all the things you are dreaming of doing!! Sometimes numbers are such an evil thing! Numbers on a scale, numbers in aging, and numbers in sprints. UGH! Remember, that you are making progress and the results will come. But I know it's hard to be patient. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Jonah, Jonah, Jonah,

Only I am allowed to be this hard on myself. Really pushing it up hill and taking 20 seconds off of your LAST REPEAT of the morning is improvement.

Grandison gave me this advice when I was training for the Alaska marathon (my first ever) and it is really so very true. She said, "Lynn, getting yourself to the start line is the hardest part of any race." I think about these words often... When you slow down and reflect on the training, blood, sweat and tears that go into what we do each week she is absolutely correct.

Keep your head up and your spirits high... you are an amazing woman.


Melissa said...

I read your blog and planning to comment - but I think it has all been said. I can understand the feelings of discouragement, being disheartened, and intimidated. but you keep telling me to push through! so i am! now you have to keep pushing with me.

JRo said...

I have always liked this quote from Greg Lemond..."It never gets easier, you just get faster". Hang in their're doing great!!!!