Friday, July 20, 2007

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Recently, I've been feeling like not going to workouts. I'm thinking of any excuse I can! I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. When I do go to workouts, I wish I didn't because everything is just rusty. I'm not fast enough. I don't feel great when I'm done...just tired! And everything is closing in around me just in general. I can't sleep well. I'm preoccupied. Hmmm, will a new bike make me faster? New shoes? Maybe a new diet of only Sushi? Buying things seems to be a way that I could try to get myself excited. I need a new pair of bike shorts. One of those TRIKS skirts to run in. And, oh yeah, did I mention I need a new bike?

I know everyone goes through phases like this. Where they feel like they are backtracking or in a period of stagnation. I know TRIgirl 40 has written about it before. I'm in love with her theory of two steps forward and one step back. Although sometimes it feels like two steps back one step forward. I know I'm not the only one who's felt like this. Can someone tell me if the heat makes it worse? Probably.

That is why TRIgirls are so important. And also why the rest of my support system is JUST as important. I was feeling depressed on Wednesday. I had missed strength training on Monday, due to my bike fit. (And my bike fit was a big let down, because we thought the pedals on my bike were jammed or cross threaded and we couldn't get them off the bike I was testing and onto my Cannondale for the fitting). I missed my early morning ride on Tuesday again becuase of the jammed pedals. I missed strength training on Tuesday because I was busy testing out bikes at 3Sports. That alone is enough to make someone feel bad! Riding $4,500 carbon bikes we could NEVER afford. What a tease. So, Wednesday Mr. Preschool made me go for a 24 mile ride. By myself. He told me It wouldn't be easy and he was right. I was slow and kept getting slower. I was all in my head. And even the 56 cm bike that was way too big for me that I had riden on Monday night seemed way faster and better than my bike. And well, technically it was faster and better.

Wednesday night, I had planned on going to strength training but I changed my mind. By the time 6 p.m. rolls around, I'm just ready for dinner and a glass of wine. But he made me go dammit! And he told me I had to hate him for making me go too. Somehow, that always makes it easier.
I am sooooooo glad I went.

And the truth is, I didn't get diner until 8:45, because the kids weren't cooperating at bedtime when I got home, and we didn't really get to eat together because they were calling us back up there until 9:15. But still, I'm glad I went. And I'm glad he made me. And I love him for it.

Thursday it was easier to get up and run at 6 a.m. but It still wasn't easy. But at least I don't have to feel bad because I'm behind on workouts. And at least when I workout I'm always guaranteed a good night's sleep.


Melissa said...

my dear trimom,
you always tell me some words of wisdom and now i am telling them back to you. don't get frustrated at the little things, just remember to have fun. and you do hat and everyone else does when you're around. so that, my friend, tells me that you are allowed stinky motivation weeks, but you are fun and that's the bottom line.


tryingtotri said...

You are always so helpful and supportive during workouts. You have taught me a lot, and talk me into doing more! So even if you don't feel like you are accomplishing a lot, you are! Getting me to run 3 miles is a huge deal! Oh and showing me how to switch gears, well that is a miracle. By the way, can I pay for you to enter a race, and you just stay with me throughout it, so my time will be better?

carmen said...

amen sister
thanks for the thoughts

TriGirl 40 said...

Just remember, sometimes there are weeks with two steps forward (and no steps backward)!

And Mr. Preschool sounds like a gem.